Gender & Power: Relationships
I saw Garon Tate today!! I love that kid, he is so awesome.
So, you might be wondering why I am excited that I saw him. Well, Garon lives in Mississippi
The rings are not for Garon - they are for later in my story.
(Sorry for any scares this may have caused)
(M,
I,
crooked letter,
crooked letter,
I,
crooked letter,
crooked letter,
I,
humpback, humpback,
I!)
anyway.
We were watching a lecture by Dr. Pepper Schwartz (yea, Dr. Pepper, poor kid) anyway, suddenly! there he was in the background! yay!!
So, we had this phenomenal lecture, very interesting but I really question this idea that having a woman work outside the home is really "fair," and "best," in the dynamic of the family. In the relationship that is a matter that should have been discussed before the marriage.
Having said that - I realize completely! - there are some cases where the spouses need to be divorced but I STILL will hold with the fact that it is better for the family As A Whole to have a parent in the home.
What good is it to dump your kids off with some random person to teach them morals, values and things like getting along with each other? And, in the end, doesn't it cost Just As Much to pay a sitter/nanny/day care as it would have been to stay at home and live a little more economically?
Look at our kids these days! And we wonder why parents don't know their own kids. Or their spouses. No one is ever home.
THEN you look at the impact this has had on our neighborhoods. No one is home, no one is aware of what's going on --- why? So we can afford an extra car or another vacation or a house that is too big for us anyway?
WHAT are we doing?
Women's lib -- BULL!!
All "we" have done is lock ourselves into a cycle that takes us away from our families and our kids and is weaking our society as a whole.
When are we, as a whole, going to accept that Some Women work, and that is great! BUT those that choose not to are just as (IF NOT MORE) valuable to society's FUTURE than those that punch the clock?
If you have to work - okay, fine, great, go for it.
You want a career, okay, fine, great, go for it.
BUT - if you want to have a family and you want kids -- then by God you better be a good mom.
And Guys -- what? You think it's EASY taking care of kids, appointments, chores, etc. etc. every day? And perhaps your wife works, too! OR - she worked before staying home with the kids and the dog and the house. Ask her - she'll tell you it is JUST AS, EQUALLY, The Same As working 40+ hours a week.
Come on, get real. A "homemaker," as quaint as the phrase maybe, is truly that: a HOME MAKER -- they don't take care of themselves.
So, this discussion of "power" in relationships needs to be reevaluated to "Pride" and "Selfishness" in the family. THAT is what we are really talking about.
posted by meg @ 10:42 PM
4 Comments:
Wow Meghan, that is a great post. However, I feel that it is okay for the mom to work outside the home, especially once the kids are in school.
I would have loved to stay home with them and be able to do things, but unfortunately in today's world, that's just not possible. Looking back, there were a lot of things that could have been sacrificed, but knowing that John only made $1,200 a month and out of that had to be a house payment ($580), a car payment ($300), groceries, utilities, etc....it just wasn't possible.
I can say that I'm glad a chose to have a "job" instead of a "career". I put my eight hours a day in (most of the time anyway!) and then I go home and forget about it until the next morning. Luckily my job is very flexible so I can take the kids to doctor's appts., dentist appts., school functions, etc. Because let me tell you, even with a "current" husband and an "ex" husband, I still do everything when it comes to the twins. Not that I'm complaining (okay, maybe a little whining, but not complaining).
Anyway, let me end this by saying that I LOVE being a mom and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. For those who say they don't want kids, they don't have NO idea what they're missing! :)
Aunt Mo
Oh, and I would have commented on the marriage thing, but being on my second and all that drama, I have NO room to say anything about what it takes to make a marriage. Obviously, I missed the bus on that discussion! :)
Aunt Mo
Okay, one more comment and I'm through...promise. Did what happened at my house Friday have anything to do with this post? Ha ha...thought you'd get a laugh out of that!
Signing off for real this time!
Aunt Mo
no - it's not that I'm against women working... it's when you're not being a MOM. BIG difference, and sometimes you don't have a choice. Those are the mom's that need support and kindness - but these other women --- it's not right.
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