Wednesday, May 21, 2008


So, I became a facebook addict during the semester; primarily because Dub was playing scrabble with me. But now I've graduated and ...

I always thought that by the time I was at this point in my life the perspective would be a wee little bit different and I'm not sure where I'm supposed to go now.

The religious part of me is still pretty mellow about being patient and etc., but the rest of me (which would the majority of me) is feeling out of sorts.

I was sitting at work today and I the exact thought was,
"Please don't let this be the rest of my life."

So, I was thinking ... what is it that I want ? And I made this list and then I thought - oh, it's because I don't care what I do as long as it's interesting and I enjoy it:

Children's museum coordinator/person .... a person who gives historical tours or something teaching people (I did that for the Fort Crook house and it ROCKED) ... but people who WANT to learn, not like high school or college ... be a fund raiser person for a foundation ... be the planner for events (like the children's section of Ren Faire) ... I want to work with people who have common goals and aren't snarky back biters ... I want to strengthen families ... i want to be in the sunshine ... or outside ... I want to do something, anything, that makes difference, for my community.

Being all deep in thought I went to get an ice cream cone to cheer myself up and the guy behind the counter was like, "Here you go, ma'am." ... are you kidding? thanks. Then I got home and realized I gave OPPD the wrong date (apparently) and they shut off my power for me (I *was* planning on moving in a month. I guess(***) when I called I said, "May 21" not "June 21" according to Judy at the OPPD number.)

SO - KUDOS to Abby and Dave for sharing the truck. :-)

--- I got my papers all in order to that the QAST in two weeks and the EIPA (gag gag gag) in August... depending on the how the QAST goes (waste of money, only good in NE) I may take the NIC to see where I'm at THAT level and then look for jobs ..... but i've got to be so careful, because if i get stuck in a situation like I was in recently it won't work well....

SPEAKING OF! I started to think I was nuts with the Gally/CAPD thing until the pinning ceremony. I tend to keep myself in situations that I can control - the noise, the people, etc., and had forgotten the hell of restaurants that are fun! and exciting! We decide to go to Dundee Dell when the pinning ceremony is over and I am SO excited .... until we got there. And it was okay for all of five minutes and I don't know if a fan came on or a band started or what but it was like white noise for the rest of the night.

and then I read what i had posted about my blog in Nov and don't feel so ridiculous.

Darn it. and Gally doesn't look at processing disorders as .... how do you say? um, .... detrimental enough to warrant a visual language. Sure. you try being me. jerk faces.

I have sign language for THAT thought.

***********anyway. so, I got done typing that about, I don't know 9:10 and I went upstairs to unpack and I heard this song, "Some Things Never Change" and I thought -- AGH!! See? ((I cut and paste it below)) THAT'S what I mean. If I'm doing the same thing over and over and over I don't mind IF IF IF IT MATTERS.

But if it doesn't matter --- what's the point?

For example, That's why I hand write thank you notes and wrap silverware in napkins...because it *matters,* whereas matching my socks does NOT matter so I don't. and if i had to...I'd only wear flip flops.

anyway, here is the song.

She gets up every morning while everyone's in bed.
Starts the coffee, makes the breakfast, for all those sleepyheads, yeah.
some things never change.
He comes in all dressed for work
Saying baby, I love you
Gotta go, even though it's not what he wants to do
but he does it 'cause some things never change
In a world that keeps turning and moving so fast
when you can't hold onto nothing and nothing seems to last
it's good to know that love still remains
Ain't you glad that some things never change.

Three o'clock every afternoon waiting by the door
sees her babies running off the bus
She couldn't love 'em any more, yeah.
oh some things never change
Like when I'm lying next to you
well, I remember when your kisses made me crazy, so beautiful back then
and I still feel the same yeah, some things never change
Yeah, same as the sun keeps rising
yeah every day someone is finding love
in a world that keeps turning and moving so fast
when you can't hold onto nothing and nothing seems to last yeah it's good to know that love still remains

and check out this pic::: I am speechless.

(I deleted thepicture because i am chicken head. madly in love; chicken head.)

Friday, November 23, 2007

mom's new computer

so i am using my mom's computer and testing it --

so i guess that the keyboard is acting up so I am testing it now -

and it's working okay and I'm guessing that

it's working okay now.

we'll see.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Central Auditory Processing Disorder

My thoughts on my CAPD.

As I have been researching CAPD-people (I hesitate to say I'm a "capd-kid" but "capd-adult" sounds so... adult) and I have a lot of thoughts, so I'm typing them as they show up.

First, a funny story. I went to high school in Omaha and our colors were black and yellow. For Homecoming I painted my nails yellow and my mom was horrified and said it looked like I was jaundiced. (Remember that, it's important.)

Later in the week we went to her MDs office and the nurse commented on my sickly-looking nails to which I replied, "Yeah, my mom says it looks like I have gonorrhea." I'm not sure who was more embarrassed, my mom at the time or me when I found out the difference.

I don't date because I can't understand what guys are saying in places that are noisy (read: restaraunts). I'm not sure if it's because of their tone, their loudness but that's been really frustrating.

I think that if people had been paying more attention when I got into high school and went from a 4.0 my freshman year to 2.9 my senior year someone might have said ... "She's not on drugs so what, exactly, is going on here?!"

I love foreign languages but flunked Spanish and French in high school because I couldn't hear, or remember, pronunciation. Some friends of mine were learning Chinese and invited me to learn with them and I was So Excited! Right --

For weeks I struggled with lessons and finally one of the girls said, "Meghan, can't you hear the tone differences?" No. Even knowing they were there didn't help.

It irritates my dad that I prefer to have the closed caption on the tv;

it irritates me that I have to defend my preference.

Here 's some stuff I've learned and what I thought about it.

Unfortunately, most is geared to kids. I guess that once you're an adult you're solo....

Site One's List:

* Is your child easily distracted or unusually bothered by loud or sudden noises?

It's funny when something loud happens, I jump about three feet. Even if I know it's coming -- this is used against me in the Deaf community. (When you are new in the community Deaf people will come up and administer their own "hearing test" - by yelling, loudly, right behind you. My reactions are usually priceless. )

* Are noisy environments upsetting to your child?

This one not so much if I am walking around (like a fair) or controlling it (like a class). But when I have to be an active participant - like a date - it's frustrating.

* Does your child's behavior and performance improve in quieter settings?


* Does your child have difficulty following directions, whether simple or complicated ones?

ha ha ha

* Does your child have reading, spelling, writing, or other speech-language difficulties?

I think that it was funny that we forgot about my speech lessons in kindergarten. But that I hid in books helped overcome many of the reading and writing problems. I still mix up words in sentences, though and I did empathize with the I mix up parts of sentenes/words when I talk (I forget what that's called) ... like I'll say "The bock is at the dote" instead of "The boat is at the dock" and I know that I learned the term for that last semester but... whatever.

* Is abstract information difficult for your child to comprehend?

Not really. :-) Universe in a Nutshell, anyone?

* Are verbal (word) math problems difficult for your child?

There is a train leaving Maine at ...

* Is your child disorganized and forgetful?

ha ha ha

* Are conversations hard for your child to follow?

What happened?!

Site Two's List (the different ones)

* Have trouble paying attention to and remembering information presented orally

ESPECIALLY if it is boring.

* Have problems carrying out multistep directions

If it's a list of disconnected things: bread, milk, shoe laces. If it's a job (like changing the oil) then I am fine.

* Have poor listening skills

Depends on who is talking, what the subject is, how loud it is around me and if I "need" to hear what is being said: i.e. am I being given directions are is someone just yammering?

* Need more time to process information

I repeat things back to people and I know it drives them crazy -- or I'll have them repeat themselves multiple times.. but - otherwise I'll forget/not hear/not understand and, consequently, not complete things correctly.

* Have low academic performance


* Have behavior problems


* Have language difficulty (e.g., they confuse syllable sequences and have problems developing vocabulary and understanding language)

Sometimes, often, when I was young I felt that others were speaking a different language and I just couldn't quite understand. (French, actually)


* Talks or likes T. V. louder than normal.


* Interprets words too literally.

I didn't realize I did this until a friend pointed it out to me. My family tends to say things as a joke which I do get offended by because I'm not "hearing" the intent -- just the words.

* Difficulty sounding out words.

Especially foreign words. Words that I have "seen" and worked with I am not too bad with.

* "Ignores" people, especially if engrossed.

or the tv is too loud.

* Asks many extra informational questions.

I do this ALL the time. Luckily, I am very inquisitive by nature - and I DO want to know - but othertimes it's to get the idea of what someone wants without having to make them repeat themselves. again. and again.

* Speech developed late or unclearly.


* Poor "communicator" (terse, telegraphic).

This - I don't think so ---- but I know that if I am startled or I just blurt out things they sound like I am mad when I am not.

* Memorizes poorly.

This is the WORST thing ever. Have you ever had a teacher tell you you were lazy/stupid because I couldn't memorize 50 SAT words a week?

* Hears better when watching the speaker.

....and she wants to be an interpreter.

* Problems with rapid speech.



Thursday, June 07, 2007

My mission statement for class


Wednesday, June 06, 2007

10th & Farnam

At about 8:30 this evening I was taking a walk through the Old Market and I saw an Elephant up ahead of me, on the bridge.

an elephant.

So I kept looking and I realized there was a Line of Elephants.

I ran up the bridge on 10th & Farnam and ... sure enough! The Circus is in town and I
saw 10 -- 1,2,3...10!! Elephants and horses and mini pony's walking to the Qwest Center.

I laughed.

Elephants downtown!

Friday, May 18, 2007

Summer time

Whoo hoo - schools out!! Now I'm tired of it. Let's go. I want to get done with school. Let's GO!

So far this summer I have planted gardens ... beautiful. I have rearranged my room.
I have applied for a new job ... started (another ) new job ... what else? I've been pretty busy, but golly I AM ready to get going.

I miss my friends; I really really miss everyone.

I feel stuck AND

why the HECK is gas this expensive. I don't understand.

I have lots more to say but first..... does Cody have my camera? Is it in L-102? WHERE IS IT?

Thursday, May 10, 2007


Part of my heart is leaving in midJune. One of my professors, Flagg-Campbell, is taking off to Chicago. It's a fantabulous move for her... but it sucks for us.

In her class we earned beans... my bean team's name was "the Purple People Eaters." The jar we made freaking rocked. It had a mouth that zipped open and closed. hehe. She gave it back to me today.

Traditionally when we graduate she writes a poem that includes all our our names. My class graduates this year so she gave us our sticks with a bean glued to them and a word that was representative of us.

Mine was "epeolatry" and she said that we both fit that, and I started to cry.

Then she gave us a bottle of water to go with our "class song" - World on Fire, by Sarah McLachlan. (The link plays a video/song)

The words were amazing:

Hearts are worn in these dark ages
You're not alone in this story's pages
Night has fallen amongst the living and the dying
And I try to hold it in, yeah I try to hold it in

The world's on fire and
It's more than I can handle
I'll tap into the water
(I try to pull my ship)
I try to bring more
More than I can handle
(Bring it to the table)
Bring what I am able

I watch the heavens and I find a calling
Something I can do to change this moment
Stay close to me while the sky is falling
Don't wanna be left alone, don't wanna be alone


Hearts break, hearts mend
Love still hurts
Visions clash, planes crash
Still there's talk of
Saving souls, still the cold
Is closing in on us

We part the veil on our killer sun
Stray from the straight line on this short run
The more we take, the less we become
A fortune of one that means less for some

And then she interpreted "Mountains" by Lonestar for us. I am going to miss her so much.


Lucinda Jones workin' at the IHOP:
Ten years worth of bacon, eggs an' tears
She's waited on every creed an' color,
While waitin' on this day to get here
Graveyard shifts, two big tips,
Makin' every quarter count,
Was worth it all to see her son,
In that cap an' gown

There are times in life when you gotta crawl,
Lose your grip, trip an' fall
When you can't lean on no-one else:
That's when you find yourself
I've been around and I've noticed that
Walkin's easy when the road is flat
Them danged ol' hills'll get you every time
Yeah the good Lord gave us mountains,
So we could learn how to climb

Bobby, Bobby Dunn came back from the war
Lost his leg but they couldn't take his will
Hell bent to run in that local marathon
He trained through the endless pain an' pills
It hurt so bad that sometimes
He just had to cry
He didn't stop until he crossed
That finish line

There are times in life when you gotta crawl
Lose your grip trip an' fall
When you can't lean on no one else
That's when you find yourself
I've been around and I've noticed that
Walkin's easy when the road is flat
Them danged ol' hills'll get you every time
Yeah the good Lord gave us mountains
So we could learn how to climb

This world ain't fair
It can knock you on your butt
You can just lie there
Or you can get back up
You gotta get back up

There are times in life when you gotta crawl
Lose your grip, trip an' fall
When you can't lean on no one else
That's when you find yourself
I've been around and I've noticed that
Walkin's easy when the road is flat
Them danged ol' hills'll get you every time
Yeah, the good Lord gave us mountains
The good Lord gave us mountain
So we could learn how to climb
Yeah, oh