I always thought that by the time I was at this point in my life the perspective would be a wee little bit different and I'm not sure where I'm supposed to go now.
The religious part of me is still pretty mellow about being patient and etc., but the rest of me (which would the majority of me) is feeling out of sorts.
I was sitting at work today and I the exact thought was,
"Please don't let this be the rest of my life."
So, I was thinking ... what is it that I want ? And I made this list and then I thought - oh, it's because I don't care what I do as long as it's interesting and I enjoy it:
Children's museum coordinator/person .... a person who gives historical tours or something teaching people (I did that for the Fort Crook house and it ROCKED) ... but people who WANT to learn, not like high school or college ... be a fund raiser person for a foundation ... be the planner for events (like the children's section of Ren Faire) ... I want to work with people who have common goals and aren't snarky back biters ... I want to strengthen families ... i want to be in the sunshine ... or outside ... I want to do something, anything, that makes difference, for my community.
Being all deep in thought I went to get an ice cream cone to cheer myself up and the guy behind the counter was like, "Here you go, ma'am." ... are you kidding? thanks. Then I got home and realized I gave OPPD the wrong date (apparently) and they shut off my power for me (I *was* planning on moving in a month. I guess(***) when I called I said, "May 21" not "June 21" according to Judy at the OPPD number.)
SO - KUDOS to Abby and Dave for sharing the truck. :-)
--- I got my papers all in order to that the QAST in two weeks and the EIPA (gag gag gag) in August... depending on the how the QAST goes (waste of money, only good in NE) I may take the NIC to see where I'm at ..at THAT level and then look for jobs ..... but i've got to be so careful, because if i get stuck in a situation like I was in recently it won't work well....
SPEAKING OF! I started to think I was nuts with the Gally/CAPD thing until the pinning ceremony. I tend to keep myself in situations that I can control - the noise, the people, etc., and had forgotten the hell of restaurants that are fun! and exciting! We decide to go to Dundee Dell when the pinning ceremony is over and I am SO excited .... until we got there. And it was okay for all of five minutes and I don't know if a fan came on or a band started or what but it was like white noise for the rest of the night.
and then I read what i had posted about my blog in Nov and don't feel so ridiculous.
Darn it. and Gally doesn't look at processing disorders as .... how do you say? um, .... detrimental enough to warrant a visual language. Sure. you try being me. jerk faces.
I have sign language for THAT thought.
***********anyway. so, I got done typing that about, I don't know 9:10 and I went upstairs to unpack and I heard this song, "Some Things Never Change" and I thought -- AGH!! See? ((I cut and paste it below)) THAT'S what I mean. If I'm doing the same thing over and over and over I don't mind IF IF IF IT MATTERS.
But if it doesn't matter --- what's the point?
For example, That's why I hand write thank you notes and wrap silverware in napkins...because it *matters,* whereas matching my socks does NOT matter so I don't. and if i had to...I'd only wear flip flops.
anyway, here is the song.
She gets up every morning while everyone's in bed.
Starts the coffee, makes the breakfast, for all those sleepyheads, yeah.
some things never change.
He comes in all dressed for work
Saying baby, I love you
Gotta go, even though it's not what he wants to do
but he does it 'cause some things never change
(chorus)
In a world that keeps turning and moving so fast
when you can't hold onto nothing and nothing seems to last
it's good to know that love still remains
Ain't you glad that some things never change.
Three o'clock every afternoon waiting by the door
sees her babies running off the bus
She couldn't love 'em any more, yeah.
oh some things never change
Like when I'm lying next to you
well, I remember when your kisses made me crazy, so beautiful back then
and I still feel the same yeah, some things never change
(chorus)
Yeah, same as the sun keeps rising
yeah every day someone is finding love
in a world that keeps turning and moving so fast
when you can't hold onto nothing and nothing seems to last yeah it's good to know that love still remains
and check out this pic::: I am speechless.
(I deleted thepicture because i am chicken head. madly in love; chicken head.)
posted by meg @ 10:07 PM
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